Zac Zellers

you didnt answer my question last time (or i didnt see your answer), and im very sad
also i dont even remember what it is
so feel bad for making me feel bad. thanks.
i answer every question unless it is offensive to someone or just trying to be funny and not really being funny. but sorry.

quiz time
1. this is timothy heller
a.) yes b.) no c.)DEFINITELY YES YEA
2. how are you
a.)fine how are you? b.)bad how are you? c.)all of the above
3.Im ok
a.)ok b.)okay 
4.on a scale of 1-10 how much do you like me
5.on a scale of 1-10 how much do you like hazel
6.on a scale of 1-10 how much do you like me and hazel put together
7.bye
a.) bye b.)see you later c.)bye timothy
1. c.
2. a.
3. b.
4. 8
5. 9
6. 10 
7. c.

don’t put your heart into a girl untill she’s ATLEAST 24. do you have any nudes of hazel?
hazel and i won’t be putting our ‘hearts’ into eachother until late December. and no, but i have a lot of fully-clotheds of hazel.

ok cool.. meet you in bali in 10 years. now, tell me about where you live now ann harbour? where is that? kbye thx again
ann arbor*. i guess it has a lot of ‘artsy’ people like bali. there are a lot of independent businesses and it is a nicely sized city. the university of michigan is in ann arbor so there is a lot of youth and culture. there are 3 great record stores and 2 great movie theaters and it is all an 8 minute bicycle-ride from my house so i am very happy with it. there are also a lot of good restaurants. there are a lot of cool and nice people but there are also ass holes and bros and douchebags and alt-bro’s and stuff. there is a good free-form radio station called WCBN and it is nice. ann arbor is probably in my top ten favorite cities i’ve ever been to. not to mention the art fair it holds every year…

how tall are you
someone already asked this but i am about 5’8”.

how can you miss skewl so much z-man… seems like you skip skewl (its kewl) a lot bro
sometimes i just feel like sleeping all day.

dear zac… thankyou for the reply you made my day- i read it in school (which is near THE BEACH!) .. yeah its nice to have formsprings, it boost you up and you feel happy and its just really nice and personal.. i really do think that some people are too quirky and self-aware, it shows sometimes on blogs without them realising it.. also i do think that blogs is some sort of self-appreciation thing but i love blogs, like hazel’s and she blogs in a tumblr kind of way on her blogspot which is really great… do you think that blogs will decline as we have the ‘micro-blogging’ like tumblr? i hope not, i was very sad when hazel moved on to tumblr but its ok now ;) it must be very fun staying at hazel’s for 7 days and you guys get to touch snow? please do come to indonesia, jakarta is cool with all the malls and the rich hipsters but i live in bali, in a town where the hippies first went to in the 70s- its like the ‘art town’- and there is no mcdonalds or walmarts or anything (we dont have any/alot in bali anyways) but just alot of art and nice hippy places .. also you can surf in bali which i do and i bet hazel could dance balinese as she is so gracefull (i myself does balinese dance too) but i hope you guys come and we can all hang out and climb the mountain! or watch the dances or surf!.. also going from island to island with boats are not at all that romantic as you think because those cheap ferry rides are really bad- to many people than there is supose to be and alot of criminality and you could go down like the titanic! but if you want your and hazel’s happy ending to be like the titanic, then i reccomend you to ride one of those… but what do you want your and hazel’s happy ending to be? well k thanks and we still talk about you, like today we did for some reason
this was really insightful; i’m really interested in life in Bali. Seems cool. Everything you mentioned sounds like the most fun.

phew DO I have a lot of questions to ask you. well here goes: when you drink water with ice do you feel like you are “pampering” or “rewarding” yourself? if you don’t feel that way about ice water then what do you feel that way about? also do you sometimes indulge in things to simply reward yourself for “bein a boy” or “bein alive” (when i first typed this i typed “bein alice” but you arent even alice.)? because i am a girl and i know sometimes i just like to reward myself for “bein a girl” is this bad.
water with ice is too cold. it makes me feel uncomfortable compared to cool water or just room temperature water. i feel that way about laying in my bed and watching a movie while eating salt and vinegar potato chips from trader joe’s. i guess my reward for ‘bein a boy’ is masturbating or standing up when i pee. i ‘reward’ myself a lot, if those are rewards.

What’s your middle name? And also what’s your favorite disney princess
Also, don’t be too annoyed when people get “overtly quirky” in their submissions. We are just trying/[failing] our best to be as cool as we think you are.
Tyler. Belle.

I wish that we could be how we used to. I can be kind of an ass, and have made mountains out of molehills. For this, I apologize, and perhaps the universe will right itself so that we will be pals again.
I don’t know who this is. This could be anyobody. Who is it?

You only have until tomorrow lunchtime, very little money & time,
what do you buy/give to your friend for her birthday?
A mix CD with tracks that seem like i put a lot of thought into them but actually just clicked ‘Genius’ on iTunes for the song ‘Someone Great’ by LCD Soundsystem. Maybe if I like her a little more than that I will fold a piece of printer paper in half and draw a goofy picture of me and her and write something ‘zany’ like “LUVVVIN U ON UR BIRTHDAY WISHES” and then sign my name so that it is illegible.

….
1)what is your favourite coloured nail polish?
2)it is 8.04pm now. what time is in wherever you are?
3)what is bad about buddhism
4)why do so many people seem to like the number 4?
5)do you have any pets
1)i like to see some deeply vibrant blues on a lady’s nail, i guess.
2)this form was submitted at 5:05am on October 30th in my time zone.
3)nothing
4)do they?
5)i have one cat

tell me everything you know about rockets/rocket madness GO
gee i uh..

hey we found your livejournal after google searching ‘zac zellers’ while researching rockets and we love all the kool gifs and jonas bros. portraits aight smell ya later (ps what kind of cologne/body spray do you wear (if any))
i don’t wear cologne and i DEFINITELY don’t wear body spray. sometimes i wear cologne if it’s like an important event and if i do i wear acqua di gio by georgi armani. this is a rare situation.

how/when do you think will you die and what are the chances it will be rocket related
haha. when i turn 100. there is a 100% chance it will be rocket related.

canon sux nikon rox rockets rockets rockets
mm…

is it true or false that your family are THE zellers of canadian department store fame and you are an heiress and if true when is your vh1 reality tv show going to debut
no. one time my grandparents went to canada and they brought me back a plastic shopping bag from the Zellers chain supermarket place and it sucked. I already knew it existed. It wasn’t funny… it was just a crappy ‘gift’. i’ll be on ‘rock of love 8’ in 2015.

hey bub reversal of fortune ask ME a question
why rockets? and show me the posters you printed out.

and now the question we’ve all been waiting for: the million dollar question: literally: so ya win a million dollar shopping spree to wherever. WHERE 2 GO, WHAT 2 BUY
first i’d go to the record store and buy every CD/record I’ve been meaning to get. then I’d go to the Apple store and buy a Mac Pro G5. then i’d go to the book store and buy some books. then i’d get a new desk from IKEA. then i’d spend the rest of my money at the LEGO store.

have you been brainstorming about that hipster oriented webinar at all and if ‘no’: why not
yes

have you ever had sexual fantasies or at least dreams wherein you kiss your fave gal-pal (not hazel just a gal who a pal) you dont have to say who or when just wonderin
not really. i have dreams but i forget them a lot. no sexual fantasies with my friends that are girls though.

would you ever kiss a boy………………………
maybe if he looked cute instead of manly.

WHICH HARRY POTTER MOVIE IS BEST if you dont like any just decide which one based of special f/x and videography and if you haven’t even seen em which title sounds badassest
i like the first one the best because it looks the nicest and it is nostalgic 4 me.

topherchris:

• Slutty zombie
• Slutty Barack Obama
• Slutty Walmart shopper
• Slutty obstetrician
• Slutty Malcolm Gladwell
• Slutty psychotherapist
• Slutty hobo
• Slutty Spock
• Slutty foley artist

suuuuup aight lemme lay this shit quick i gotta go do some whatis yo fav quote from some famous bro (or chick whatevs) ideally one that has had quite an impact on your life or ideology aight peace luv ya
god, i don’t even know. i don’t feel affected by quotes in a ideological way. i like quotes because i can already relate to them or agree with them.

after you and hazel finally connect permanently i.e. live in the same town how long to do you think it will be before you get married or will you even wait at all and what do you imagine your first pad together bein like
we’ll prolly get married after college since we’ll still be in love and then we will live in a city like vancouver while we’re young but maybe move to the swiss alps when we retire. our ‘first pad’ will ideally have a raw interior and it’ll be a one bedroom house with a big-ish living room, a small kitchen/dining room, and then a computer room or something. there will be hard-wood floors throughout the house and a big yellow rug in the living room. our walls will be lined with shelves for books and CDs and DVDs and vinyl. we will share giant closet in our bedroom. our bathroom will be across the hall and will have blue tiles. we’ll have some cheap ikea bed frame that is simple and temporary. the living room will consist of a clean and somewhat firm sofa that isn’t grossly soft. our dining room table will be very sturdy and simply built and it will be in our kitchen. the kitchen tiles will be black and white checkered. the lighting will be soft and warm. there will be a stereo receiver in our bedroom that connects to monitors in the kitchen and living room. the computer room will have one big desk in the middle where both of our computers can sit so we can face eachother while we type emails. this is my ideal ‘first house with hazel’.

whats your favorite candy, zellers
don’t say you don’t gots one or candys not your thing cause everyones gotta spoil themselves every once in a while
-da candy man
my favorite candy varies depending on my mood. i always like dark chocolate. i always like HARIBO ‘gold bears’. i hate most milk chocolate candies. if i am feeling weird, i’ll like to eat skittles or swedish fish. if i am feeling really weird i like to eat sour patch kids. i like candy with peanuts or peanut butter in them. like trader joe’s peanut butter cups are incredible. i like toblerone a lot, too. Lindt is a good brand for chocolate if i feel like eating straight chocolate. if i am feeling horny, i like taking a ton of taffy and chewing it and then putting a big jawbreaker in my mouth while ‘drizzling’ hot chocolate syrup all over my face/mouth. then i wash it down with 2 fistfuls of chocalate chips and some baklava.
i want to make a sandwich where i use angel food cake as the bread and i spread marshmallow fluff, peanut butter, and nutella on it. there are two thin slabs of dark chocolate to separate the spreads.

I don’t spend my money at walmart or macdonald’s, thank you very much.
I have never spent money on cigarettes, either. My point is, ‘supporting a big corporation’ is the least of my concerns about smoking cigarettes. I feel like you should wag your finger at anyone that consumes at a big corporation, just as you are wagging your finger at people that buy cigarettes.

smoking is only cool for audrey hepburn.
i agree. and now that i think about it, smoking only looks stylish in movies. i can’t really think of a real-life friend that looks especially cool because they are smoke.

if you could talk to one dead person, famous or not, who would it be and what would you ask/say?
gee whiz! probably Jesus Christ. Yeah definitely Jesus. I’d ask him all about life and stuff and really get to know him on a personal level. we’d talk so much that we’d feel comfortable and he’d ask me if i think that Katy Perry is ‘hot’ and we’d watch MTV together. I’d get him to spill the beans on how many times he has masturbated in one day.

hello :)
hi!

I FUCKED HAZEL BRO!!!!!!111!ONE!!
ew, shut up.

if formspring submissions bother you, why have a formspring?
this is a good question. but only a few formspring submissions bother me (like the one above) and i feel like i get enough interesting ones that it is worth it. also, i like the attention and the feeling that people care about what i say (i know they don’t).
i like thinking about the psychological aspect of posting something anonymously and what goes on in peoples’ thoughts when they submit something. it’s kind of like getting a ton of prank phone calls in one night. sometimes annoying but usually mysterious or concerning or hilarious. it is something to think about when i am alone in my room.

I THINK YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT WITH ALL THIS DOLPHIN PICTURE BIZNESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING!
…also, you are cool, but an IDIOT for thinking smoking is cool, cigarettes are the dumbest fucking shit out there, why would anyone give their fucking money to tobacco companies?
…so bad.
I said I think it looks cool (for certain people), i don’t think it is cool. Tobacco companies are just like any other giant corporation. Why would you spend your money at Wal-Mart or McDonalds? “…so bad.”

have you had many girlfriends? do you consider yourself to have many good friends or a few great friends.
no i am very bad with ‘the ladies’ and i make the girls that i like feel uncomfortable. i haven’t ‘liked’ a girl since i started ‘falling for’ hazel though, and she seems to like me back. i don’t really understand the appeal of me. i am whiney and obnoxious most of the time and i have a deadpan sense of humor that is awkward and subtle and i say things that i think are hilarious or expressive and a lot of people don’t know how to react so i don’t think they understand. people that don’t know me would probably respond to one of my awesome/hilarious/emotional/honest/sarcastic remarks with a “yeah…”. 
i have many good pals and a few great ones. a lot of people hate me or think that i hate them. i feel like only 2 or 3 people really ‘get’ me but i can have fun with a lot of other kids.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
psyc! These are Enrique Iglesias lyrics sucka!!!
lol

ok so everybody who has submited a question thing on your formspring is really cool, quirky and interesting and every question is really deep and funny and with no full stops but ok zac you are really cool and hazel too but do you guys realize that people are basicly stalking you because we are JUST SO INTERESTED with you guys and we want to be like you guys. yknow, me and my friend who reads your tumblr talks about you guys constantly in public and everyone’s like who’s zac? who’s hazel? and please note that we are all the way in FREAKING INDONESIA (yeah that country) just so you know that you have fan/stalkers right hereee brah.. and oh yeah anyways your friend, A SENTENCE CAGED IN A PARAGRAPH, can you tell her that she’s really cool and we share the SAME BIRTHDAY and she’s probably the 4th person who has the same birthday as mine and ask her what she did for her party because i had a tea party. also what is your job? 
oh yeah i totally agree with you about hazel. she is my girlcrush, im sorry to say, and she has this timeless beauty and full of grace and reminds me of thos 20s/30s/40s beauts and which Barnabby are you reffering to because i agree
wow! I don’t really know what to say. I think, contrary to you, that a lot of the submissions are overtly ‘quirky’ and kind of annoying sometimes. i mostly hate the self-aware ones like “lol why am i asking you about teeth i’m so eccentric!”. you don’t wanna be like me and hazel. well maybe you wanna be like hazel, but not like me. and you NEVER wanna fall in love with someone on a whole nother side of the country. indonesia is different though. it is smaller than america and maybe you can travel by boat from island to island and that is more romantic. I always wanted to go to Jakarta. maybe hazel and i will vacation there and we can all hang out. I feel kind of flattered that you and your friend talk about me/hazel in public. It’s truly an honor. a wonderfully creepy honor. A SENTENCE CAGED IN A PARAGRAPH is Sarah Hopp! We are real-life friends and she is one of my favorite people. i think she had a surprise birthday party or something and everyone pitched in and bought her a camera. I’m not sure. I didn’t go to it.. :[ we used to be real-life lovers and she taught me a lot about everything and she still does. we are still close-ish friends but sometimes i wish we talked more. we used to have a lot of fun. read her blog.
At my job, i take these eating utensils that are shaped like construction vehicles and i package them into packages and then put them into boxes and ship them all around the country/world. it is lame but i make $8.00 USD (lololol) every hour and I work about 20 hours a week.
yeah, hazel is so incredible. i’m really crazy about her. you’re right about her timeless beauty. plus she does all her school work and is super hard-working and is probably going to be really successful. sometimes when i think about her i feel really moved because she seems so prolific. i am going to stay with her for 7 days this december and i am excited and it’s all i think about sometimes. we talk on skype a lot and you should hear her speak; it is amazing. she’s definitely the coolest gal i can imagine. she’s so witty and she makes all the cunning remarks about everything and she is so knowlegable and i really look up to her sometimes.
and Barnaby is one of my friends that lives in Ann Arbor and sometimes i work at WCBN with him and Lillian. He goes to a different high school. uhh… keep being a stalker; it is nice when they are in other countries.
yours truly,
zac zellers.

me and Noam Flam have a tangental chat about our favorite young author. We were very distracted and kinda tired. Reading this again, I feel like I have a lot more to say about Tao Lin. I felt kinda lazy when I was engaged in this. Everybody go buy ‘Shoplifting from American Apparel’ from Amazon. This chat lasted from 6:30-8:30pm on October 27th, 2009.

zzellers: wanna have a >500 line gmail chat about tao lin?
neverevenknowme: haha why 
zzellers: http://heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com/2009/10/new-promotional-campaign-re-shoplifting.html
neverevenknowme: well who gets the shoplifting from american apparel 
zzellers: i have all of his books, besides ‘you are alittle bit happier than this book cover that i hate’ 
zzellers: you do 
zzellers: cause i have it 
neverevenknowme: oh cha ching lets do it 
zzellers: i just want the ‘mad hits’ 
zzellers: on my blog

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heheheheheheheeheheheehehe:

“When I’m talking to someone I think ‘can I use this dialogue in a book,’” said Luis. “If the answer is no I try talking to someone else.”

- from Shoplifting from American Apparel by Tao Lin